Measuring my girth

…..do you know some people have real audacity…. Miss Pamela has emailed today to ask if my girth can be measured… now, I know plenty of ladies who cut the size label out of their cardigans… just in case anyone sees it…. let's face it…what a real friend would say is…”you are never a Size 14 (eh, hem… no comments please), it’s the cut, too skimpy. Now if you went to Marksies, you would fit into a 10 (especially if you didn’t want to button it up)… and they are such good value, so durable, a good wardrobe staple (you can tell they leave Gok on for me to watch when they are out sometimes)..…

Anyway I digress…back to my girth… there is a legitimate reason, I suppose…. She wants to KNIT my racing colours… well, that made me chuckle…. I thought racing colours were of the flimsiest silk…..so as not to weigh you down…. let's face it folks, I wasn’t built for speed… and that just about sums it up…knitted racing colours….

But to be honest, I do feel the cold…. When your undercarriage is about and inch and a half of the ground, on a cold morning it gets right into your bones….so as you might have come to expect, I have a whole wardrobe of outfits. My favourite one was the one my big brown eyes got bought in a lovely little exclusive shop in Puerto Banus.

 Those big yacht owners certainly know how to shop…. on the quayside, there is a fairly ramshackle set of buildings with lovely signs like Gucci, and Prada, as well as an exquisite little shop that sells things for the pets… and I tell you, some of those pets are above their station… just because they are on a big yacht doesn’t make them better than me… so I was determined… in the window I spied a lovely raspberry knitted ensemble…not too gaudy and head-turning for the wrong reasons… sometimes a girl just wants to be noted for her sophistication…. Not a “what was she thinking when she put that on moment”… but that look of quiet envy when people think where did she get that…. well the answer is …not Marksies!”